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Groundhog Harassed By Dipshits In Stupid Hats
3+ hour, 31+ min ago (106+ words) The post Groundhog Harassed By Dipshits In Stupid Hats appeared first on The Onion. Tampon Wriggling Out Like Wily Trout Well Water Still Tastes Like Toddler Wedding Ring Jammed Into Slot Machine Crime Scene Fetishist Dusts For Toe Prints Silent…...
Bob Qualley
2+ mon, 3+ week ago (56+ words) Bob Qualley, 72, learned the hard way the dangers of juggling snakes. The post Bob Qualley appeared first on The Onion. Wednesday, November 5, 2025 Bob Qualley, 72, learned the hard way the dangers of juggling snakes. Look, if you don't choose your gang…...
The Onion’s Guide To The Emmys
4+ mon, 2+ week ago (465+ words) Friday, September 12, 2025 The 77th Primetime Emmy Awards will be broadcast on Sunday, Sept. 14. The Onion shares everything you need to know about this year's most lauded TV series." Synopsis: A psychological drama about every parent's worst nightmare: their child being British....
The Onion Film Standard: Top Gun
5+ mon, 2+ week ago (41+ words) The post The Onion Film Standard: Top Gun appeared first on The Onion. Tuesday, August 19, 2025 The stars had very urgent news for you, but they're drawing a total blank right now. Don't you hate when that happens?...
Everything We Know About ‘The Devil Wears Prada 2’ So Far
6+ mon, 1+ day ago (108+ words) Set in the New York City neighborhood of Restaurant City Will begin with a historical primer about what a magazine was Joe Pesci will step out of retirement to portray the President of Shoes. Stanley Tucci balder than ever Little…...
The Onion Film Standard: ‘28 Years Later’
6+ mon, 3+ week ago (57+ words) Become a Member. Get the Paper. Friday, July 11, 2025 Sorry, some heat indexes you just want to keep for yourself Free Your Wallet. Shop The Onion Store. (June 21 to July 22): While they can't guarantee things will turn around for you, the…...
The Onion’s Box Office Hits
7+ mon, 3+ week ago (39+ words) The post The Onion's Box Office Hits appeared first on The Onion. Tuesday, June 10, 2025 (May 21 to June 20): You really shouldn't have done that'That's unfortunately as specific as the stars can be....
White House Correspondents’ Dinner Scraps Host In Favor Of Terrified Silence
10+ mon, 2+ day ago (284+ words) WASHINGTON'In the wake of comments the comedian made that reportedly angered the Trump administration, the White House Correspondents" Association confirmed Monday that it had scrapped Amber Ruffin as the host of its annual dinner in favor of terrified silence. "After…...